pork & potatoes

There is pork and potatoes, spaghetti, steamed broccoli, and a whole roasted chicken. After smoking two cigarettes and looking over the icebox a second and third time, I opted for a ham sandwich, double mustard. Well, the end of the year is coming fast and with it I plan to stop smoking cigarettes. DH and I really need to turn ourselves around and get our money situation in check. Here we find ourselves at the end of the year, broke, and not only does my MIL come down to help file the pile of bills we've stowed, but his dear Grandma D paid almost all of our bills. I owe so much of myself to the women in our lives.

I want to do good, be excellent at my job and be an outstanding wife, a good friend, and honest, and I want to be good to my standards, too. I want to be able to dance again, and paint a little more. I did quite a few pieces this summer, and I want to keep it up this coming spring. I wish, I wish I could take ballet lessons again, like in high school. I would have to buy a new everything - leotard, stockings, shoes and a belt. I need to be trim, again. I've gained those few pounds that I can easily get rid of, and so I need to work on my body everyday and remember to DRINK MORE WATER!!

Well my husband was called in to work this evening. I usually stay up to bid him goodnight, but tonight I may get in bed earlier.

I just thought of something else for my to-do list: Finish Sadie's Blanket!


Good night.

Sick and Sicker

I've been out of the work the last three days because of a cold I caught from someone in the meat department. I hate being sick, I despise it. i can't move or go out and get out of bed half the time because my head is pounding.

Bruised Feet

Well, I am in bed now. My husband has gone to work security for a neighborhood tonight, and I have finished my first bake-off (term used loosely). I was testing myself, and I know DH was in on it, too, to bake these twenty-four dozen cookies for vendors this season and I brilliantly finished. I'll see if he could take a picture of the finished tray tomorrow before they are delivered.

My hands are scratchy and dry. I wash them so many times during the day, multiplied by the extra work I put in today, and they are left with a certain tightness,  like a snake that can't shed her skin. Knuckles are cracking but not broken, and swollen, like my hand muscles becoming fattened with muscle. I called in today and I'm sure they needed me at the Bakery, but I have actually developed a head cold and I'm thinking of calling in tomorrow as well. but then again, I'll be working with Dee tomorrow and I love her, she's a hoot and a gas in one...she's a poot!

Well, well, if it isn't Miss Scarlett, my little darling. She noticed that DH isn't in bed with me. And now that it's half past the hour, I should be thinking of tucking in by now.

I watched Center Stage this afternoon while I tended my Chocolate Crinkle Cookies. I had to put on my tights and old slippers and just stretch out my body and dance for the hell of it! I made sure my heart was pumping, got myself jumping, spinning in the dining room and hyper-extending...shit I miss the discipline.

Monday, Monday...

I was supposed to go into work at 9 this morning, but I woke up with a frog in my throat and a mucus mudslide, so I called in. I'm sitting back in the easy chair watching RENT, goodness a great show.

I'm doing a little personal catering this year for my husband's boss and his vendors. Originally I was only doing five plates, but now there are eight plates, twenty-four dozen cookies and two days to do it all, shit.

Chocolate Crinkle cookies,
Mint Chocolate Chunk,
and NY Black & Whites,

and i believe that someone is adding Puppy Chow.

I went to see my psychiatrist on Friday. I didn't mention anything new, although there has been a couple of weird things, like hearing someone calling my name out, or I see blurred figures, and I had really bad double vision yesterday. I fought a migraine all day, my first true aura in several months. I suppose this is happening again because I'm not on my anti-convulsant anymore. Maybe I should take to Dr about the headaches...?

Should be getting back to these cookies....

A Day Off

I drank a lot last night, way more than I'm used to. In fact, for the last few nights I've been drinking quite a bit. This could get rocky if I don't stop. I decided last night that I won't smoke anymore cigarettes after the end of the year. December 31st, no more tobacco.

Oh today was long, even for an off-day. Woke up and my husband's boss was ill so we played hooky until he got word to go into work this afternoon. Then I cleaned up a little, vacuum there, dishes here, tomorrow some laundry. Miss T came by and we chilled for a minute. I baked a large batch of Swedish butter cookies for a lady I work with.

Not Feelin' It

Gosh this week has been moody and emotional. i feel very blessed by everyone in my life, and yet I feel like my old 'moochy' self. Didi bought me a coffee today, i felt soo good after. I was so sluggish today, sleepy, I laid my head on my turntable, told my boss I needed a nap. Before I even came home I knew I wanted to drink again. And there I went.

Cup of water.
Banana and 2 slice blueberry creme cake....oh my.
some Honeycombs.
Homemade chicken and lentil soup with black coffee.
    and omg, Siu made me a chocolate cupcake with cookie and cream frosting before i left work, it was really delicious.
Garlic chicken for dinner with my hubby (who was being a real grouch today) plus 1.5 shots of Jagger.

When my friend Miss T stopped by we went over to a friend's house, and I drank some more. He poured me a Colorado Bulldog, or Kahlua, Vodka and Cola. Couldn't have the White Russian since I'm lactose intolerant...


Well, I had a pretty good night, but now I have the munchies so I think I'll have some dry cereal and water. Maybe late I'll chat about this hole that we've  fallen into, but not now.

Dinner, Sunday Night

One pear,
Two shots of Jaggermeister,
One shot of whiskey.

Maybe now me and the hubby can go to bed with bliss instead of angry eyes.

Stinky Life

i sure do wish someone would have instilled the knowledge of how to operate a vehicle before I decided to leave the state. God, stupid fucking family. Fucking me.My husband hates me because I'm too much of a burden and now it's making me hate myself. Fuck hate fuck fuck lame ass. And fucking plus, we're stone cold broke. Now who's fault is that? Not mine, I'm not the one that buys lunch everyday, nor do I have a car that needs gas or oil changes, nor do I have the check card. Hmph.

I don't open my mouth because arguments start and I don't like the arguing. I don't like the fighting, the name calling, the accusing. Fucking leave me alone! So what if I don't want to drive, can't you just promise to be there when i need you?? Fuck.

Okay, issue number two: what the fuck is up with my weight?? I know I was pregnant, and I gained a few pounds, but then a miscarriage. I guess I have to work the fat off. I already started with twenty lunges this evening. Only one thousand more to go...

So today started blergh, and then went blergh blergh, but it's finally blue-behrger. That's an inside joke...
-Kittie